pursuing options. (53)

I’ve always loved the phrase, “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset.” That is, as it applies to dinner and toddlers, the colored frosting on a birthday cupcake in school, something free you weren’t expecting. There’s just no big need to make a great deal out of the small stuff, and sometimes I think it’s a good life lesson to learn that you can’t always get what you want. Are you hearing the song in your head right now? Because I am.

I also love chucking the above phrase out the window when it comes to not settling on the bigger issues. I make no apologies that there are certain areas of my life that are just non-negotiable. Unwavering. Off the table. God is one of them, and the very biggest of them all. I won’t be backing down on the Creator of the Universe, or what I think of Him, or what I believe to be true about Him. To me, there’s no wishy-washiness about God. My family is another. There’s no settling for me where my nuclear family is concerned. None. I want the very best for them, always. Sort of good enough is not good enough for my marriage or my kiddos or my sister (and her family) or our parents. Nope. I want the absolute, bar none best, and I will work my tail off when necessary to make sure that’s what they get. So God. Then family. And then birth. Birth is a good one to throw into the mix. There’s no question about my stance when it comes to birth. I could very easily get on a soap box here, but I’ll do my best not to. I’ll just sum up my thoughts in a few lines that capture what I’m thinking about as I wind down this day (and for good reason):

-When you are birthing your baby, it’s YOUR baby. And YOUR body. And if you have wishes, hopes, dreams, fears, expectations, specifications, articulations–they’re yours for the sharing.

-When someone comes from a position of fear about your birth experience, it’s toxic. Even if you’re fairly steadfast about birth, from whatever angle you want to take. Toxic. I’ll elaborate more on this at a later date, when I’m not shedding my own experience with someone else’s fear and toxicity. Bottom line…you don’t have to buy into it or own it in any way. This is not a “you get what you get” situation. It is the amazing, beautiful, remarkable experience of bringing a life into the world. It should feel that way.

-I believe that God has created our bodies to do an incredibly beautiful thing, from start to finish. Is it not miraculous that a whole person begins from nothing and then, nine months later, comes out an entire little being who will grow into a bundle of awesomeness as he or she learns to eat, move, communicate, express emotion, speak, share, play, live? It is entirely crazy and amazing, and I think we should call it what it is. I don’t think we should water it down or act like we have to control every last aspect of birth, without regard for our Creator. It just stinks when we do that, and all of the fun of it feels lost to me.

So. In this case–in my case, you don’t get what you get and not get upset. You get what you get and you advocate for yourself and your body and God’s plan and the wellbeing of your family…the born and the unborn included. And you trust your gut and you apply your mama instinct and you pursue options, because the ones in front of you have started to feel less and less like options, and more like a slippery slope that challenges everything you believe to be true.

Birth is not a nasty, blue-frosted cupcake. I can get over a cupcake.

I’ll expound more as the days go on, but for now, I just want to capture this (and how I’m feeling 53 days before the Button’s anticipated arrival). I’m too passionate about this topic–and about the healthy, positive, uplifting outcome of this forthcoming birth for our family, to let it go. Nope. I’m a bit on fire right now, and my mama instincts are reeling. Just inside out reeling. And since God gifted me with the ability to feel and think and reason and protect, I’m likely to do all of that to my very best capacity. I hope as I journey through this process and come to conclusions for myself personally, that maybe someone else will feel empowered to the the same.

You don’t always get what you get and not get upset. You have options. I’m digging into mine. I’ll let you know how it goes.

loving this babe and wanting the absolute best for him or her. for us. thank you, God, for making me a little bit of a spitfire;)

mm