eyes to see. (54)

Last night I shared that I’d be working extra hard this week to see where God had His hand in my days, and this morning when I woke up, the challenge was on. I don’t know if it was the last few rough hours of sleep that got me, or more the crazy avalanche of thoughts and stressors that flooded my mind as soon as my feet hit the floor, but by the time I finished getting ready I was sort of freaking out. Often, I think that when we come out and say we’re going to be intentional where God is concerned, the enemy gets a bit nervous. My self-commitment last night must have been intimidating on some count, because I was under major oppression as the day began.

And then I started to pray.

First I asked God to get me through getting ready without losing my mind. The to do list and the hard things were piling on strong at that point, and I didn’t feel like I could clear my head for more than a second. Then I asked Him to stretch out my morning so I’d have time to just get quiet and focus on Him. I desperately needed time to pray today. I really, really needed H to sleep in.

Now, I’m no magician, but God is a prayer answerer. I finished getting ready and tiptoed downstairs with my fingers crossed. I settled into the couch with a few devotionals I’ve been dabbling in lately, a pencil, and a glass of water. And then God showed up. Or maybe I should say, God kept showing up. The little one was sound asleep as 8:30 rolled around…8:45…9:00am. I was soaking in as much Truth in the Word as I could, as fast as I could, and I was praying for a change in the day.

It didn’t take long for peace to fall over me. I had to fight writing out my list of to dos–wanting so badly to pour them out of my head onto paper, but I felt convicted just to let God work. I read about letting God take control of the day, about letting gratitude lead our steps. I wrote out a prayer of thanksgiving for practice. I focused on the good. And my mood and outlook changed. By the time Henry woke up, things were already flying off of the to do list that I’d eventually had the chance to write. And I was in a much better place to greet him and his needs, and to be the mom I didn’t wake up feeling like an hour and a half prior.

I love God’s version of time.

The rest of the day was a mix of good and bad, but let me tell you…I would not have had the capacity to deal with the harder things if I hadn’t had that quiet time this morning. God’s fingerprints have been all over this day. As H ran freely through the near empty mall on an errand, as we wandered through the library, stopping to look at fish and turtles 100 times, as we blew bubbles in the front yard waiting for daddy to get home from work this afternoon…time. stood. still. This would not have been my M.O. today without God’s intervention. I’ve had impatient moments today, too, don’t get me wrong. Several of them. But in the midst the day has been beautiful, and I’m so, so grateful once again.

On a baby note, I had an unplanned mini-ultrasound this afternoon and had the chance to see our sweet little one’s face. A totally welcome and perfect surprise in the day! Suddenly, it’s as if I know for sure I’ll instantly recognize him or her the moment baby is born. I feel better connected, and definitely more at peace after a whirlwind few weeks on the pregnancy front. I’m totally in love. The Button is doing great–moving around constantly and hiccuping sweet hiccups on the monitor as I watched in awe. The Lord is so gracious to us!

In a nutshell, today has been a good day. I don’t know if I would have seen it that way if I hadn’t asked for fresh eyes this morning, but God granted me my request. There’s nothing quite like knowing that He hears and sees us, and that He loves us enough to answer even our smallish prayers.

gratitude doesn’t quite touch it, but awe comes close. better for this day,

mm